Why Now Is the Best Time to Start Couples’ Therapy

The whole world is on pause right now and for many of us, that means therapy is, too. When every day feels uncertain and we’re just trying to make it to bedtime, it’s hard to think about adding in anything that doesn’t feel essential, especially when it comes to couples’ and marriage counseling. I’d invite you to consider, though, why now more than ever may be the time to start or continue couples’ therapy.

We all have loose threads. 

Imagine your relationship as a costly Persian rug. On the whole, it looks pretty great (or at least functional!) but get up close and suddenly you’ll see all sorts of pulls and loose threads—small problems now, but they’ll only get worse with more time and friction. 

This crisis is a magnifying glass

For many of us, the added stress of this pandemic and entirely too much time stuck at home together only magnifies those pulls and loose threads in our relationships—they have always been there, but they were easier to overlook in the hustle and bustle of normalcy. This can feel overwhelming, but it can actually be a gift.

This can actually make therapy easier. 

So much of the couples’ therapy work I do involves combing through the entire “rug” of the relationship to identify where each pull started so that the couple can begin to re-weave and heal. With the magnifying glass of this crisis, we can see the loose threads so much more clearly and tug them back into place long before things start to feel irreparable. 

Get back to an even better normal. 

So much in this present situation is beyond our control right now, but we all have the ability to choose growth over stagnation in areas small and large. Feeling friction in your relationship? Choose to lean into the tension in a way that generates healing so that when it finally comes, the “normal” we’ve all been longing for will be even better than before.