In my previous post (Understanding the Effects of Sexual Content in the Media: Part One), I highlighted some research that revealed exposure to sexual media content being everywhere, and furthermore, suggested this exposure impacts our attitudes and behaviors of our own sexual desire. I doubt this is shocking information.
That said, it has been my experience in both professional and personal relationships that most people will not talk about sexuality with their children, their friends, or even their spouse. Something fundamental to the human experience – sexual desire, sexual attitudes, and sexual responses – are treated as optional or secondary within human development. Doesn’t that sound crazy?
The constant bombardment of sexual media content impacts these fundamental aspects of our humanity, but we don’t make it a point to talk about it. It would be similar to knowing that your expenses are greater than your income but not making any adjustments and not expecting any financial fallout in the future.
When important data no longer informs our decision making we wake up collectively to shock and confusion about personal and public epidemics.
We are horrified about how widespread the #metoo victim stories go and the existence of sex trafficking rings in our own cities. We are overwhelmed by what we find our children or spouse viewing on their smartphones. We struggle to understand why our own sexual desires propel us away from our spouse and towards secretive encounters with a screen, or worse.
I’m suggesting that in many cases it’s the old frog in the frying pan phenomenon; you don’t even know there’s trouble until it’s too late. That said, simply trying to hide or shelter yourself, your marriage, or your young adolescents from exposure to sexual media content is futile.
Instead, I’m encouraging you to pay attention, stay educated, and think critically. Be proactive and intentional. Have discussions with your kids, your partner, and your friends about what each of you are watching and what attitudes about sex are developing. Be open to listen so as to understand those you interact with, even if what you hear is vastly different from your experience.
Try Asking Questions, Like:
A few helpful resources to help guide you in engaging this topic with you kids are:
And for couples to enhance their discussion with one another:
These are certainly going to be unfamiliar and even awkward interactions for some. Don’t be afraid to not have all the answers. It may be easier to just carry on without engaging these things but the research would suggest it is not best. Be strong and courageous. And if you need help, let us help.
Watershed Counseling provides counseling for individuals, families, and couples for many issues, including sex and development. Make an appointment with us today.
“You hurt me!” Whitley exclaimed. “What did I do?” her friend asked. As Whitley begins her lengthy…
Facing Emotion Isn’t Just About Feeling Uncomfortable Facing emotion and owning those feelings will allow…
It’s not groundbreaking to tell you that stuffing your feelings isn’t the best way to…
You feel like a mess. You think you're a disaster, and you know it's high…
Statistics on child sexual abuse are terrifying for any parent. You've felt the vulnerability of…
The Fight with Worry As a parent, it can be overwhelming to figure out the…