How to Find Emotional Safety in Life Transitions
It was my son’s first day of middle school.
He’s a cool kid. He’s laid back, a “go with the flow” type who’s not easily rattled. But when he climbed into the car that afternoon, he immediately burst into tears.
Through choked sobs, he told me, “No more recess, no more tag. Now we have something called ‘Courtyard’ where we just fry in the sun and stare at people we don’t know.”
As a 5th grader, he had never imagined an end to life as he knew it. He didn’t expect to have to say goodbye to swings, slides, and games of tag. Just like that, things that he loved and counted on were gone. And to make it feel even heavier, his cyber technology teacher introduced them to middle school by calling them “aspiring adults.”
That’s a lot to take in before lunch.
The Suddenness of Change
He’s going to be ok, I think. He came home and swaddled himself in his comforter, asked for snacks, and laughed at a silly meme his brother showed him.
Watching him grieve that sudden loss reminded me of a deeper truth: change can be jarring, whether you’re a child losing recess or an adult facing the loss of a relationship, a job, a dream, or a familiar season of life.
Sometimes you don’t see the ending coming until it’s here. When it arrives, you may feel unsteady, uncertain, or even unsafe.
A Biblical Perspective on Being Present
You’ve heard the mantra “living in the present.” Wellness influencers and therapists alike promote the idea. While the phrase “live in the moment” might not appear in Scripture, the premise of living in the present is woven throughout the Bible.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says:
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” - Matthew 6:34
Scripture reflects this idea that encourages presence, gratitude, and trust in God's daily provision.
Why Staying Present Is Hard During Life Transitions
If you’ve ever tried to just be present, you know it’s not always easy. Past hurts, unresolved trauma, and long-held beliefs can pull you away from being right here, right now. You can be triggered and internally dragged into the past, leaving you dissociated in the present; detaching is sometimes the way your body keeps you safe.
Notice how my son instinctively regained a sense of safety: he tightly wrapped himself in his blanket which gave him a bodily sense of safety. I knew he was transitioning out of a fight/flight response when he asked for snacks and laughed at his brother. The connection he shared with his brother moved him from sadness to a joyful frame of mind.
Finding Emotional Safety When Life Changes
When change leaves you unsteady, it’s vital to find a safe space where you are known, loved, and supported and to use strategies that help your body and mind settle.
In my work providing counseling for life transitions, I help clients process the past so it no longer keeps them stuck, practice strategies to stay present in the moment, and find peace even when tomorrow feels uncertain
Let’s Do This
If you need a place to “wrap up in a blanket,” metaphorically or literally, and feel seen and heard, I’m here for you. Together, we can navigate your transitions, build emotional resilience, and help you feel well within, no matter what changes come your way. Get started today: call and schedule an appointment, (601) 362-7020.
